Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Earning Trust

How many times have you heard: "You have to earn trust"? I believe this bit of conventional wisdom has been ingrained into me since I was a child (you can probably relate to that). I also believe that this bit of conventional wisdom has held me back in more endeavours than I can count.

What this bit of wisdom should say is: "You have to earn more trust." If you start with the premise that someone starts out in your relationship with no trust, then how can they possibly develop any? If you don't trust them to some degree then what can they do to earn some? How hard is it to tell a new employee or co-worker that you are going to trust them with some things up-front, and allow them to earn more trust as time goes on?

How much trust you give will depend on the circumstances - how much you have to lose if they violate your trust - but there is almost always some level of trust that can be given at first. The reality is that you are doing this anyway to some degree. The really big difference is how it is presented. Telling someone they have to earn your trust is a negative. It will take you a long while to develop a strong relationship with someone if you tell them up-front that they are not trustworthy (at least you perceive them that way). On the other hand, telling someone you are granting them a level of trust up-front is a positive. If the person is truly someone deserving of your trust, they will work extra hard to earn more, knowing that you have stuck your neck out (to some degree) in the beginning.

Starting a relationship on a positive note. Wow, what a concept!

No comments: